Debunking a Myth

It has come to my attention that, like Sarah Palin, I have been subject to a number of rumors, spread via various vicious mediums, on a number of life and death topics. In this most accurate post I shall dispel these horrific and unfortunant rumors. 

1. I do not participate in mixed martial arts. Although I have catlike reflexes and amazing mental stamina, I cannot effectively hold a victim's cranium between my thighs while inflicting other forms of torture with my fingers and ankles on his or her weak body. Also, it is unladylike.

2. I have never been a foot model. Some may say that my foot has the perfect toe formation and hue for peddling such wares as very small CTR rings and special pedicure lotions of berry and citric varieties. However, my high arch put an end to an otherwise lucrative and successful career.

3. I can do algebra. Reports have been circulated by vindictive, dishonorable muckrakers that I cannot compute algebraic equations. I admit that I have said myself that I cannot come to know the true character of the illusive "x" nor his compadres, aptly named "y" or even "z." Alas, it has been revealed to me that I can, in fact, tell you that a train leaving Baltimore at 8 pm heading for Pittsburgh will never cross paths with the 6 pm commuter out of Mesa heading for Phoenix - no matter how fast or slow they go. It's mathematically impossible.

4. I have never claimed to be a Bush. I was never the Bush twins' triplet. I don't believe in Bushes. I mean, I believe they exist. I just don't believe they should.

5. I don't care, in fact, for long walks on the beach. If a person... take me for instance... if I were to, say, want to spend a lot of time with someone with whom I am, say, romantically interested - even involved -- I would get a beach cruiser and ride really fast. Riding really fast makes everyone happy. He'll equate me with happiness. 

6. My daughter is not pregnant. I don't even have a daughter. Or a son. I have no children. And I've never even tried moose stew. I think that sounds gross.

I want you all to understand and know, really know, that what I have written here is the absolute truth. So when naysayers and doubters tell you otherwise, say to them, "No, that's not how it is, man."

Soundtrack of my Life

Today was cooler than it has been and I loved it. Fall is my favorite season. I love the changing colors. Today I began listening to my fall soundtrack. The following is a list of what I listen to in various seasons. When I listen to something out-of-season I don't get the same pleasure out of it.

Summer

Teen stuff like Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Natasha Bedingfield, Jason Mraz. It has to be peppy, fast tempo, and get me going.

Oldies like Beach Boys, Abba, and 80s music.

Disney music.

Fall

Sissel. She is just perfect. Put her on your Ipod and go for a walk. You will not regret.

Christmas Winter 

Rich music (meaning tonality) like Josh Groban, Il Divo, Charlotte Church, and more Sissel.

Christmas music, obviously, from the Messiah to Alvin and Chipmunks.

Ugly Winter and Spring

I haven't found anything that really screams "It's still snowing" and "The weather is bipolar; you can tell because the meds are making the clouds puffy." Suggestions

Saturday night driving in the car alone or with someone adventurous who you trust

Showtunes

Bubble Baths

Classical

John Mayer

Big band and jazz

Rainy Days

Josh Groban

Michael Buble

What music do you listen to and at which times?

Let the Good Times Roll

Today I saw a new Mormon movie, The Errand of Angels, with my friend Joni. The movie is about a sister missionary (who wears blue and pink tights) serving in Austria. Since I served in Germany (over two and a half years ago!) the movie made me especially sentimental and reflective. So I wanted to share a few of the funny stories from my mission.

First Street Preach

We met up with other missionaries from the Frankfurt area to hold a street preach on the corner of one of the shopping districts. I sang and preached on the Kiste (a box) but didn't really get a chance to contact. When I did, I tried to talk to an older Muslim lady whom I really couldn't understand, but she made a machine gun motion and sound, and I took the hint that she wasn't interested. 

The Poopy Leaf

My companion was walking in front of me talking to an elder. I noticed a leaf stuck to my shoe and bent down to remove it, coming up with brown, mushy stuff of my hand. Poop! So I attempted to get it off thanks to an obliging bush -- a thorn bush. So I was bleeding and poopy and my companion and the elder kept walking, oblivious. His companions noticed my dilemma and awkwardly offered me so water from his bottle. My companion never noticed.

Dating

I felt good that morning. The birds were singing, the weather was perfect, and I was in a good mood. As we left out apartment a short, Arab man in a suit was ringing doorbells, selling stuff for Deutsche Telecom (aka T-mobile). Being nice I said to him, "You look good." When we came home that evening and checked our mail we found two Deutsche Telecom brochures in our box. One read, "Interested in a date with a man who always looks good?" And the second read, "Oh, I almost forgot my number 555-5555 Ahmet." There are so many reasons why it wouldn't have worked.

I loved and hated my mission. I remember the stress, the frustration, the futility, the doubting. And I also remember the special times, the good times, the moments when things worked out, and the sweet friends I have because of it. 

Beijing Olympics

I looked forward to the Opening Ceremonies on 8/8/08 all day. I got some lettuce wraps and sat down to watch. They were amazing. I mean the ceremonies (although the wraps were great too.) Indescribable. Astounding. I freaked out. I was "trippin'." The drummers. The boxes. The boxes! And the people running in air literally all over the world. Then when the torch bearer flew up and ran around the length of the arena. For those of you who did not see it, you will be very confused by my words.

Most people find the march of countries boring. I enjoyed it. Especially watching the smaller countries. Some of those Olympians had no chance of winning, represented  thousands, if not millions of people at home per athlete (as compared to USA's nearly 700 athletes), or came from a country in turmoil. Like Iraq or like Georgia. That was the night that Russia invaded Georgia. 

The Olympics are such a positive experience. We can cheer for all countries. It is when the worlds puts aside economics and diplomacy and suits and missiles and oil. We concentrate on people who are trying to be their best, who are real role models, and who are accomplishing tasks we all dream of.

I've enjoyed watching swimming (who cannot enjoy watching Michael Phelps) and the women's gymnastics team. It's the one time I really enjoy sports because it's about hard core athletics and now about what the athletes do when they aren't sporting. Go Team USA!

Sausage comes from...

I was listening to Radio Disney, as I tend to do, as the DJ interviewed the Cheetah Girls, who just completed a movie India. Kids were calling in to ask questions. One question posed was, "What did you miss most when you were in India?" One of the Cheetahs said that she had really missed beef. She had eaten lots of chicken and pork, but no beef. She missed beef so much that as soon as she got of the plane in America she "headed right of McDonald's and ordered a sausage, egg, and cheese McGriddle."

I wish her all the best in her studies with meat.

John Mayer

Last night I attended an event that I wanted to attend. Because you should do things you want to do now -- you might not have a lot of time left.

I saw John Mayer at the Usana Amphitheater. John Mayer is a fantastic guitarist, which thing I should not have known from his albums. It was relaxed yet fun. We danced, we laid down, we judged the people around us. 

My favorite song of the evening was actually not one that John Mayer wrote. He did a cover of Tom Petty's Free Fallin'. Click here to see a music video of it. The one that made me smile most was Good Love is on the Way -- and it has a wicked guitar solo. As for the songs that are John's, he did a sweet version of Daughters. I also liked No Such Thing, Waiting on the World to Change, Belief, Gravity -- basically everything he played from the new album. Some songs had sweet guitar solos making the song, like, ten minutes long. He messed up the lyrics on Say (not in this link), which was an interesting thing to do on that particular song. 

I would recommend this concerts to friends and family.

Sting Rays and Monet

To celebrate our birthdays in July, Kathy and I took a Saturday in SLC. 

First we went to The Living Planet, our local aquarium, made from what seems to be an ex-grocery store. It costs $8 and provides about an hour's worth of entertainment. Mostly it was coral reefs, which were pretty cool, and the jelly fish were sweet, but the highlight was the sting rays. You can pet them!

It took me a little while to not trip out. (Their stingers are cut off and if you are nice, they'll be nice back.) Once I got the hang of it I couldn't get enough of it. 

Then we headed to Gourmandise, a delectable European cafe.  I had the julienne salad and the best mousse cake this side of the Great Salt Lake. 

With a change of shoes (high heels on hard wood -- awesome!) we attended UMFAs exhibition Monet to Picasso. The exhibit is on tour from the Cleveland Museum of Art. It costs $15 and you get a little cell phone looking thing explaining the artwork. The exhibit features not only impressionists, but post-impressionists, symbolists, Rodin's scarily real sculptures (including the Thinker), and cubists like Picasso, and then there were a couple by Matisse and lastly that trippy stuff from Dali. 

I adore the impressionists, especially Degas. I was disappointed that the exhibit only had a sculpture from him -- not a ballerina or bassoonist or women at her toilette in sight. However I really enjoyed two specific pieces -- one from Monet and one from Van Gogh. 

This painting, The Red Kerchief, is modeled by Monet's wife, Camille. Camille died at age 32 from complications of child birth. This piece was never for sale -- Monet kept it in his private collection. I love the color scheme, with the bright red as a focal point. (I originally thought it was from Manet, who usually does dark colors with one striking color.) I also love the subtly -- it's not a portrait, set up and perfectly staged. This is like something I've seen before. The old masters are harder to relate to. I aint never seen nothin' close to the holy family in Renaissance clothing.

This is The Poplars at Saint Remy. A Van Gogh up close is indescribable. The paint was so thick. I'm mean centimeters! You look at the piece from the front, then the side, then the front again. His style is uniquely his. The painting leapt off the page. I felt like I was right there, watching him paint. 

The exhibit is well worth the trip. It was a great day.

Anecdotes

One of my boys told me that he had "literally manipulated" his probation officer. Gee, what must that have looked like? Pretzel-y, I'd guess.

I haven't been to Walmart in over a year. I don't like the store on principle and looks. But I had to go because it's the only place I knew of that made keys. Maybe Lowes would have had it too. The first disappointment was the I couldn't get a cool specialty key for a car. The second was that the didn't have the right type of key for my car. They recommended I go to Lowes.

I decided to make my "cardboard pizza" in the oven, the long way. I don't use my oven often so I had to get to know the buttons. I was most inspired by the button labeled, "Stop time." 

Swedish Meatballs

Enrichment's promise of "summer salads" ended up being more of a "taste experience" than dinner, which I expected. So I scrambled at home to keep myself from making tapioca pudding into dinner and ended up preparing my Lean Cuisine Swedish Meatball dish. This dish kept me alive last summer. But there was an accident. In moving the plastic container closer to my body, I lost about a fourth of the small meal... into my lap. it brings "On top of old Smokey" (the meatball version) a little closer to home. 

Suomi & Sverige (Finland and Sweden)

Here are my photos from my recent trip to Finland for my dear Anni's wedding and also our time in Sweden. I have tons of photos so the slide show goes quickly. Even still, to see them all you might want to pull up a chair 'cause it's gonna be a while. Or see them all quickly by clicking the thingy on the bottom of the screen. Enjoy!