Showing posts with label LDS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LDS. Show all posts

10.8.14

Ten Years We've Been Rusting/ Needing So much More Than Dusting

On August 11, 2004 I arrived to the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah, said goodbye to my family and smiled down the hall as I reported for my mission.


It was the best of times and it was the worst of times. This morning I reflected on many memories and wanted to share a few because, hey, this is my blog and I get to do as I please.

My companion Sister* Fuchs and I went with ward member Schwester Sold to visit a less-active sister in the ward. I needed to use the toilet and excused myself. It was a pretty neat bathroom and had one of those old-timey lock and key (which was fairly common in the Vaterland). I locked it up and proceed to take slightly longer than usual because the bathroom was interesting. When I wanted to come out I could not get out. I turned the key left and I turned the key right. I jiggled the key. I pushed it in. I pulled on it. I had probably been gone for hours at this point. Then I heard footsteps and I froze. Luckily it was Sister Fuchs' sweet little voice, "Sister, are you ok?" "I've locked myself in," I explained. Giggles and footsteps leaving me. Abandoned! and embarrassed! And then a gaggle of footsteps who instructed me in the fine art of unlocking a door.

Schwester Winter, in the bottom left photo below, had a thick accent of some variety (Hessish?) and wherein I met her at the beginning of my mission, I spoke and comprehended next to no German. But she was so sweet and kind and loving. After a visit she said something to me which I did not understand but decided meant, "I hope you don't get transferred." I replied," Hopefully not!" and smiled broadly. In English, Sister Turley (next to Schwester Winter on the other side) explained, "She just said she hopes to see you Sunday."

We weren't having a great day of door knocking (because when you are knocking on strangers' doors your day is obviously not going great... Willkommen in Deutschland!). We were on a row of town homes and each porch had a barrier to the other so you couldn't observe one front door when you were on another. Down the lane came a woman who shouted "Hallo!" and waved warmly. Sister Reiter grinned and hallo-ed back - happy to have anyone glad to see us. What I saw and she could not see was that our friendly lady was waving to the neighbors. Poor Sister Reiter. That laugh kept me going for a few bad days, it did.

I'd like to note a few things. First, I served before sister missionaries were allowed to look cute. Second, I guess my face absorbed all my makeup every single day. Last, photography just ten years ago was crap. Try not to see my iPhone reflected in the photos.


I still feel that my mission was the best thing I have done in my life so far. It's been the smallest singular event that has affected my life. In one sacrament meeting on the mission a brother talked about missions and how the mission does more for the missionary than anyone else. I was offended. I didn't come on a mission for me! Later as I've reflected on that I now completely agree. What a blessing missionary service it. 













*Sister missionaries go by the English word Sister so as to not be confused with nuns. Regular ward members still go by the German word for sister, Schwester.

27.7.14

Ireland

I went on a long trip in June with my friend Jessica and I'll be posting photos at my leisure and hopefully for your pleasure. I'll start with Ireland. We didn't have a lot of time anywhere but we saw a goodly amount (as evidenced by the hugeness of this post - c'mon you can get through it!). We began and ended out journey in Ireland and Northern Ireland (and events are not in the order experienced). I'm in love with Ireland and I'm ready to move to Ireland any day of the week.

I learned a lot (for the couple days we were there). First, I learned about independence and identity. Second I learned about about identity and immigration.

Kilmainham Jail
Ireland had a civil war about a hundred years ago. When I was young I thought that the Civil War, as in the American Civil War in the 1860s was the only one then had happened or would ever happen and thus we could all call it the Civil War. Unfortunately it's not a the, it's an a. However, like all tragedies great things come to pass, characters come to the front who encourage and inspire us. This is what I learned in Dublin and the Kilmainham jail.


There is a strong feeling there. It's dark and sad. And inhumane. I didn't like it. I think I've only ever felt that way at Dachau, the Nazi concentration camp near Munich, Germany. I took only a few pictures at Kilmainham because of that feeling.  The jail was built in 1796 at a time when humans didn't treat other humans like humans. All genders and ages and offenses were housed together. It was cold, and dark, and damp. During the great famine it was worse, but some would purposely be incarcerated because it was better in than out, though it was horrific in.


And they had gallows, attached right to the front of the building - there are two and it's those little white parts above the doors of the balcony. There is a large snake above the doors. Terrifying. The jail sits on a hill and was a perfect gathering place for publicly hanging people. One would have to have a lot of anger or no emotion at all to be a part of that.


Kilmainham was fairly innovative. They figured out that it was best to have just one inmate per cell and came up with this style of block, where one guard can see the goings-on of many prisoners. I believe that this is the style of many prisons today.

The fame of Kilmainham derives from its execution of the leaders of the Easter Rebellion, the surge towards independence from the island across the way at the beginning of the 20th century and for its holding of other political prisoners. We had to choose between the Book of Kells and Kilmainham and Rick Steves gave Kilmainham more triangles (meaning it's more of a must-see) so we trusted him (as we did at other point and were never disappointed). The experience was dark but inspirational and helped me to understand humans and our history a bit better. I'm glad we went.

Powerscourt and Glendalough
We attended church in Dublin. I love that my faith is the same wherever I am and that I always have friends wherever I go. And every LDS church has a steeple- thank goodness or else we would have never spotted it. I enjoyed church, too, because in faraway Ireland there wasn't the contention and political issues that are plaguing where I currently live. It was a little group of believers who cared most about belief and their relationship with God and Jessica and I both really needed that.


Near Dublin is the beautiful Powerscourt Estate, which the savvy will recognize as the estate of Edmond Dantes in the 2002 film The Count of Monte Cristo. My photos do not to the estate justice.


The gardens are extensive - we didn't even go into any of the buildings - and basically Eden. When have a ever been surrounded by such a massive amount of beauty?! Perhaps only at Butchart Gardens in Victoria BC; but this was wilder perhaps and likely more lush. 





In shocking contrast to Powerscourt is the subtle Glendalough monastery. Nestled to a large hill (I'm from Utah so you have to be huge before I'll call you a mountain) and remove from life, the ruins of a monastic settlement from the sixth (wha!!) century. The buildings, I think, are in fantastic condition. There is a sweet and rather large cemetery with both old and recent headstones. Relatively few people were in the park, giving the verdant surroundings a serene ambiance. 




Northern Ireland
Then we took the journey of several hours to Belfast and drove along the Antrim coast. I had assumed that the scary part of the experience would be driving on the "wrong" side of the road. No, it was the tininess of the roads. Apparently the Irish have no sense of personal space or boundaries. But they do have a gorgeous countryside that, to me, is more relaxing than any sunny Caribbean beach.

Because we got to take a good country drive we saw lots of interesting things, like beef and a pink phone booth (I was only expecting red), and some amazing views.


We visited Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge, a 65-foot bridge suspended almost 100 feet between to jutting rock-island-things (technical term is a volcanic plug, whatever that means). It was used for salmon fishing which was better, until recent years, on the one rock-island thing.



Carrick-a-Rede is green and sea-y and windy. The water is clear and on a clear day you can, apparently, see Scotland.


Not at all far from this magnificent site is the Giant's Causeway, whose sheer hugeness and natural precision cannot be shown photographically. It's an entire cliff-way - can you see the tiny people on the tiny path? We walked it all. And the dark rock at the bottom is anything but ordinary rock. 




Caused by a volcano, the rocks have formed little basalt columns - perfect hexagons, stacked neatly -and you can climb all over them!



The legend goes that a giant, Finn MacCool (that's my real last name) got hit up by the Scottish Giant Benandonner (a similar phenomenon is across the way in Scotland) to have a great fight so Finn built a causeway (road across water or a wetland) so the two could meet up. Scared of Benandonner, Finn was hidden by his wife is a great cradle and presented as a baby. Benandonner gave up the fight, concluding that if the baby was this size the father must be amazingly huge. A sleepier version of the legend says that there was actually a fight and Finn won. (I wonder what the Scots think of that?)


Finn's paraphernalia is all around, a chimney and this "boot" I'm sitting in for example.


We failed to arrive at Dunluce Castle before it closed, but we got to walk around some of the grounds. Being a ruin and all, Jessica and I weren't too disappointed. We were more disappointed to find out that the story about the kitchen of the castle falling into the sea was likely not true.


Ireland is a small, exquisite, beautiful land. I'm saddened by the immigration that is taking place. So many of its people are leaving to find work in other countries - a historical problem. If you are Irish and reading this and you aren't living in Ireland, please go back. I really think Ireland needs you. From what I saw and learned about Ireland there are loads of reasons to be proud and we have to keep that going by keeping as many Irish in Ireland. Beside, your accent (if your national pride keeps the accent) is much too difficult to understand.

12.4.14

So, what's new?

General Conference weekend was family and faith filled. Twice a year I combined the two things that mean the most to me. In between sessions we inducted the children into the world of the put-as-much-sweetness-on-a-crepe world that the rest of us know and love. After the sessions we ate raclette and just laughed and talked and played. 

I look forward every month to our Ladies Dinner Club where, in addition to a delicious Italian meal, we made our own vanilla. It was my first time ever buying alcohol - let's hope we didn't screw it up. 

Stake Women's Conference, Organ Loft for a silent film with Lisa, a walk in the park, babysitting Eve, and more walking with Jennica. I reflect often on the great and good people who just keep coming into my life. 

Enjoyed so much time with my family. When I am with them I am myself and I am happiest then. 

Did a little road-trippin' to the Happiest Place on Earth with Freddie. This is where I learned that caffeine actually does affect me (I didn't sleep but one hour one of the nights), that the character breakfast is totally worth it, and that you can see everything in two parks if you have people you can rely on to have stamina. I've only been on Small World once in my life because it is always out of commission when I go.. as it was during this trip. Some people really dug my Doctor Who shirt (it says "I heart heart DW") which was basically a test of who's in and who's not. 


22.12.13

Weekend Update 4.0

I've had a fun two weeks with lots of special Christmasy thing and good times with friends and family.

"What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family." Mother Teresa


I spend a lot of my down time on my bed in this position. This day was especially lovely because there was softly falling snow outside. It was one of those days where you are so thankful it's Saturday because you don't want to go anywhere. But I did get up and tried out my smoking man. It's a pretty entertaining German invention. Just put in a little pellet, light, and he smokes. That night I spent time with ward members, including the amazing Shannon. 
My mom hosts a big Christmas party every year. Santa comes even though this is his busy season - that's how big this party is. My family is the funnest and these are the photos to prove it. 
This past week the SLC airport was a winter wonderland and Milla was stuck in the area for the night. Christmas miracle! So we talked, watched Doctor Who, and that was about what we had time for. 
Splurged this year for the fancy Nutcracker at the Capitol Theater. Mom and I ate at Siegfried's (what's more Christmasy than German food?) before we enjoyed the gorgeous ballet. Who wants to see Sleeping Beauty with me in February?
Ended a great weekend here, which was probably the Christmasiest of all.
photo from here

8.12.13

Dear Little Ones

My church stake is a totally different demographic than my church ward. My ward is mostly made up of peers who are usually in careers, like me. My stake, on the other hand, is a lot of kiddos just out of high school and living with their parents prior to taking off to parts unknown. Last night was stake conference, meaning I have to sit in a room with those children. I have unchristian feelings of disdain and superiority toward them sometimes - we'll analyze that another day - and yesterday I gave them an imaginary lecture. Here's what I said.

Dear Little Ones

I have some things to share with you that I wish I'd realized earlier in life. I know you won't take this advice because probably someone shared it with me and I ignored it (and to some extent might still be ignoring it - Oscar Wilde said " I always pass on good advice. It's the only sensible thing to do with it."). Life is indeed understood backwards. But should there be some insightful ones among you, this might be helpful. You might just have to trust me on this one.


  • Trust your instincts. If something isn't jiving or seems "off" then stay away from that thing, dump that thing, move away from that thing. Give it a minute and you'll be justified. 
  • Take some just-for-fun classes in college, but not too many. You'll never get another chance to learn neat things like you will in college, but you also can't stay there forever. 
  • If free therapy is available, go. It'll never be free again. And don't tell me you don't need it. We all need it.
  • Do study abroad. Travel will never be so cheap again. And then go ahead and pay for it even after graduation. You need to get out, man. 
  • When you are in the late teens and early twenties, you'll live in some holes. I think that's important for character development - in fact, should probably make sure you do live in some holes. But at some point (maybe around graduation) stop living in a hole. 
  • Expect life plans to change. And be okay with it. And be okay with others' plans changing too. Life is so much better if you go with it instead of crying "Foul!" when things go in another direction. 
  • Figure out how to accept people. People aren't like your bedroom that you need to clean up. People are more like nature - it just is how it is and there is beauty and good in every landscape.
  • At the same time don't be good friends with everyone (always be friendly and interested). Not everyone is a good idea for you (or even safe). But be friends with people that are heading someplace, who have ideas and ambition, because then you will too.  
  • Figure out how to accept yourself. You are you and there is no changing that so either you can be mad that you aren't someone else, or you can just own it. Watch more indie flicks because they will show you that normal-looking people and rather mundane plot lines (aka your life) can be interesting, meaningful, and important. 
  • You get to choose what you think and what you do. Just because someone said it doesn't mean you have to believe it or do anything about it. It's just something someone said. At the end of the day you are accountable for what you do so do what you think will work out best for your life in the end. 
  • It's really ok not to have boyfriend.girlfriend so much. And maybe even a really good idea. In the words of the fictionalized version of Maria von Trapp: "Just wait a year or two."

Second Advent

Story of Christmas - an infographic
Click to learn more about the story of Christmas.

22.9.13

Aye, Hook, This is All My Doing!


"For there is a God and He hath created all things,... both things to act and things to be acted upon." 


"Wherefore God gave unto man that he should act for himself."

Two of the most important intangible possessions I think a person can have are purpose and autonomy. Purpose is the feeling that you matter and your actions create positive repercussions; autonomy is the feeling that you are in control of your own life. 
William Glassner, in his book Reality Therapy, lists several fundamental emotional needs and the need to be useful was particularly meaningful to me. At 20 I already felt Erikson's need for generativity and I think essentially we all have that need regardless of age. It is really our relationships to other people and society that gives our existence meaning. I am sister, daughter, therapist, friend, etc. It is my impact in those relationships that gives me purpose. I have to change my world to find my place in it. It's the way I say, "Hey, make room, I'm here to participate." In fact, it is not feeling a part of things that leads to depression and even suicide. I attended a conference this year and, among other factors like access to means and ability to withstand pain, feeling like people don't need you was perhaps that most important factor in a suicide attempt. We need more than connection, we need to feel needed. We are a system and the system influences all parts and we need to know that we are influencing others - that we are acting upon our world. 
So if we are to influence and shape our world, it means that others are also influencing and shaping us. In direct opposition to that fact is our need to be independent. Autonomy is essential to everything from the creative process to happiness to self-reliance. We need to feel free to act in order to act our best, our most powerful, our most innovative. Autonomy is essential what we call "agency." We lose autonomy when we are dominated by a parent, an authority, a system, or even influence. It's pretty obvious when a person or a system overtly dominates but I get very concerned about smaller, more subtle, even unintentional, domination. Let me explain. In high school, I liked myself some Gilmore Girls. And after I watched an episode I would talk much faster, because unless you've been hiding under a stupid rock you know that GG dialogue is fast. I was mirroring it (via my mirror neurons) and it was influencing me. People will say that they don't care what others think and that they are totally independent thinkers but that just isn't true. We are constantly influenced by everything around us from our friends to the weather to the books we read to movies we watch. 
And that's really ok. We influence and we are influenced. But can I just make a confession? Often I trust others' opinions more than my own. I know not everyone does this, but sometimes I just doubt myself. It's very bold and maybe even a little arrogant for one to belief one is always right. And so I find myself influenced and somehow certain that I have it wrong and "it" should be another way. I felt I was an inevitable pawn. However, just a few months ago something occurred to me while I was in therapy as the therapist (Yalom says to see therapist and client as "fellow travelers" so I'm free to work out some of my own crap in session) that ultimately it was my client's life and he could do whatever he wanted; and, alternately, it is my life and I can do as I please regardless of the opinions, recommendations, and assertions of whom/whatever. I am the creator. I have the God-given ability and responsibility to look at the influences around me and pick and chose what I will assimilate. I know this sounds obvious and you're maybe judging me (for shame!) for stating the obvious, but I'm not sure we really do understand that we can act for ourselves. I mean, I've been telling parents for years, "You have to do what works for your family" and it only just now sunk in that I have the same right and responsibility. Buddha said (supposedly), "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it - even if I said it - unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." When we take the influences around us and make the deliberate choice to assimilate or not, that is true autonomy. So if I want to be a working mom, shave my head, write a blog, invest money, be religious, see a movie, whatever - I get to design my own life. And when I look around my home and I think about my life I say, in the words of Peter Pan, "Aye, Hook, this is all my doing!"
And so we can create purpose in our relationships by influence AND create autonomy by choosing what will influence us. When people do this effectively they are most happy because, as Henley said, "You are the master of your fate, the captain of your soul."

17.2.13

Fourth Nephi: the Great Divide

The Fourth Book of Nephi - a mere four pages of the compilation Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ - details nearly 300 years of ancient American history. It begins just after the visitation of the Savior of the world and shows a civilization so infused with the Christian gospel that for two hundred years "there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God." Unfortunately, half-way through the chapter the wonder and impact of Christ's visit to the Americas seems to be wearing off and by the end of the chapter the people are chaotic, divided, and wary of one another. Sadly, I felt more connected to the people of the latter-half - the first half seems to good to be true and the second half is really the world we live in - everyone's just doing what comes naturally. The first half is happy and thriving and safe, a place where people trust each other and work together. I want to live there - or at least be a citizen at heart of such a community, so I wrote out a simple list of descriptions of the two civilizations, in the hope that I can set my life and my character to fit in the people of the first half.


Characteristics of “No Happier People”
·         Participated in baptism and receiving the Holy Ghost
·         No contentions because of the love of God
·         No disputations
·         Dealt justly
·         All things in common
·         No poor, all free
·         Partook of the Heavenly Gift (Atonement of Christ)
·         Miracles of healing
·         Build cities (economic growth)
·         Strength
·         Multiplied (population growth)
·         Fair and delightsome
·         Married in the covenant
·         Fasted and prayed
·         Attended church
·         No envyings, strifes, tumults, whoredoms, lyings, murders, lasciviousness
·         No robbers, murderers, or –ites; complete unity
·         Prosperity
·          
Characteristics of Natural Life
·         Revolt
·         -ites; disunity
·         Pride and vanity
·         Costly apparel, pearls, fine things of the world
·         No more common goods
·         Divided into classes
·         Build up churches unto themselves to get gain and denied true church of Christ
·         Denied gospel
·         Allowed wickedness and administered sacred things to the unworthy
·         Iniquity
·         Adversary has hold of their hearts
·         Persecute the church of God
·         Refuse true prophets/leaders of God; seek to kill them
·         Hard hearts
·         Willfully rebel and teach their children to rebel and to hate others
·         Secret oaths and combinations of Gadianton
·         Focus on wealth; hoard gold and silver, traffic in all manner of traffic