30!

My day began with breakfast with the Masi family, followed by shopping - a birthday should always have shopping. In the late afternoon I met with with Freddie, Kate, and Erin for manipedis then headed for dinner with lotsa friends. Despite the rain all day (prolly the first time it's ever rained on my birthday) we had fun at the drive-in movie where I neglected to take photos.

Oh, and there was a rainbow.

Roaring Twenties

Today is my last day of 20s. I turn 30 tomorrow. I'm stoked about it. I love new things (for the most part) and I think 30 will rock.

But before that day comes I'd like to take a walk down memory lane and review my 20s. This is prolly only interesting to me - sorry about that.

Age 20

• This was the the year I met my BFF Kate. Lived at BDA.
• I was an EFY counselor 
• I graduated from BYU with my BSW (that's code for Bachelor of Social Work)

Age 21

• I went to the temple. Big family trip to Nauvoo, IL to do it. 
• Did the EFY thing again.
• I got my mission call to Frankfurt, Germany and I went to Germany.

Age 22

• I celebrated 22 with the fabulous Anni K, from Finland. 
• I was out on the mission for a year, finally had some command of German, and looked really frumpy.
• Got picked up by my mom and bro from the mission and toured around a bit, including the Sound of Music Tour, fulfilling my lifelong dream and basically ensuring that anything else to come would be ho-hum.

Age 23

• Back from the mission and in grad school at the University of Utah. I got to live with my grandma one day a week (when I was going to school) which was pretty awesome. But I won't be said if I never see another Marie Calendar pot pie again. 
• Worked at an RTC (code for residential treatment center) which was basically chill.
• Did internship at Wasatch Mental Health youth division. 
• Lived at Old Mill and pawned all of my roommate problems off on Kate to solve. Love you!
• My niece Grace was born on my birthday. Another lifelong dream come true. 
• Started a blog - this one to be precise. 

Age 24

• Graduated with the ol' MSW (Master of Social Work) and passed the licensure exam becoming a CSW (Clinical Social Worker).
• Began dying my hair - like really, really dark. 
• Got my first real job, therapist at an RTC (where I still am). Teenage boys are an education. Also worked private practice.
• Went on my first cruise - just the little one to Ensenada. 
• Lived at home. I'd like to defend this. I had to move home because I didn't know where I was going to get a job and so I just kept living at home. Then moved out to Deer Haven, with Kate. 
• Bought my first car. 
• Went to Anni K's wedding in Finland. Also toured around Sweden and met up wtih Hanna, who was a foreign exchange student with my family while I was in high school. 
• Saw John Mayer in concert. It was a really good concert.

Age 25

• Discovered Real Salt Lake.
• Visited Leah in Toronto and my mom and I went to Germany, Austria, and a day in France. 
• Saw Jason Mraz in concert. That was a great concert. 
• My dad died. 

Age 26

• Saw Michael Buble in concert. Fine.
• Went blonde. 
• Took a real trip to NYC.
• Cruise to Jamaica with the family. 
• Jennica moved in (and out). But she's a bestie. 
• Started running. 
• Got my "L" making me an LCSW (a Licensed Clinical Social Worker). It's a big deal, just go with me on it. And stopped private practice. 

Age 27

• Discovered Doctor Who.
• Saw Hanson in concert. Amazing.
• 10 year high school reunion. I was 17 when I graduated - I'm a summer birthday. 
• Decided to find my real hair color - a continuing pursuit but I'm close. 

Age 28

• Went to Maine for DBT training followed by a visit to Milla in North Carolina. 
• Bought a house!
• Trip to Civil War sites in the South. 
• Taught Abnormal Psychology at UVU. 
• Joined a legit bookclub. 

Age 29

• Kate got married. That maybe sounds like her life event, but it's really impacting me. 
• Trained in Prolonged Exposure. I'm a really good therapist, really, actually. 
• Another trip to the South (this time along the coast) to check out more war sites. 
• Couple trips to Cali to present to school districts about "Treatment Resistant Youth."
• Began working at outpatient therapy and cutting down at RTC. 
• I'm more me than ever before!

Here's to the next ten years!

Er-rybody be hatin' on the rat

Jennica said it best (in a Russian accent): What can you have for love if not for rat?

Kate got a rat for her 5th grade class this year. Sandy - that's the rat - visited the kiddos' families on the weekends. Sandy's with Kate for the summer but she was with me this past weekend when Kate and Steve went camping.

I posted this photo on the interwebs and immediately got a backlash. Apparently I missed the cultural memo that rats are gross.

I 

I disagree with society. I found Sandy (and other rats I've met) to be very agreeable. She likes to crawl all over you, like a puppy, and is cuddly. Why would I get a dog that is so needy and messy when I can get the same lovin' from this little tike? She is clean. She is low maintenance. She can mind her own business or she can be involved in yours - whatever you want. 

A big complaint is the tail. Yes, it's like a little snake, but it's easy to forget about once you get over yourself. 

Additionally, I felt a little emotional connection to this girl. I think she really loves me and prefers me. Let's hope K and S camp again. 

Give rats a chance. What can you have for love if not for rat?

Mission memories

Today there was a special broadcast about missionary work. I enjoyed it but I also felt very, very jealous of current missionaries. I don't know exactly why I was so upset that I can't be a missionary but I think it might be because the mission is the one time in my life that I was 100% sure I was in the right place and that I was doing something more meaningful that anything I can think of. That's not to say the rest of my life was a waste of anything, just that my mission to Germany remains my best moment.

Which is interesting because I didn't see a lot of people come into the church and I was super stressed (unnecessarily so) most of the time. But I do believe I made some great connections with companions and with some members and Germany is a wonderful country that I miss so much it hurts.

I was looking at my photo album and here are some of my favorites in particular order. 

Doing dishes at the Outreach center in Duesseldorf

Frankfurt temple, in Friedrichsdorf, where I did tours. Here I'm with Sis. Kennard and I'm on the right (this was taken with a film camera). 

With Sister Kymalainen - shed a tear or two or eight! when we got split up

Schloss Braunfels with Sis Kymalainen

Nadja was baptized by her friend (and the real missionary) Florian. Lots of missionaries is this situation including Sis Bonke, Fuchs, Bradford, and moi.

Lovely Carolin, so glad we've been able to keep contact. Members rocks. 

Feelin' 22. Sis Kymalainen made me a special Finnish cake.

Schwester Winter - no idea what she was saying but she made me feel so calm and loved in a very foreign country

Street preach - my favorite thing to do. And this was neat because it was by what we called the "Dirty Bird" which is really the Lebensretter (Life Saver) but is oh so wrong. 

General Conference and Sis Bradford's first day. Sis Fuchs, me, Sis Turley, and Sis Bradford.  At one time or another each was my companion and we're all still friends. I mean, I was with Sis Fuchs on a trip when I found out my dad died. That's friendship.

All of my companions that were in the mission at the time. 

Fasching (or Carnival). Helau!

German national anthem and written out by Sis Reiter. It's catchy and gets stuck in your head easily.

Highs and Lows

So what do you think of life so far?

A high point of my life was going on a mission. It was also a low point, but mostly a high point. As of today, June 17, 2013, pretty sure this is the most worthwhile thing I've done with my almost 30 years. Although it was really stressful (low point) it was the period of my life where I've been the most sure that I was doing exactly the right thing (high point). 

A high point in my life has been traveling. I've been to 11 countries and 35 states which I think is a goodly number. 

Low point, I failed my AP History test in high school which was embarrassing because I was so sure I'd pass and everyone else apparently did. (I also didn't get into a PhD program, but this ended up being a high point because I have no friends in doctorate programs that are happy.) (Also, I passed the AP English test which was fine. Note to high school Megan, AP is a big waste of time. Let's talk about the semester's worth of credit you got through concurrent enrollment. Spend a semester memorizing anatomy and physiology, watching your teacher smoke, and learning from the Simpsons - high point.)

High point, graduating from grad school and having a job that I feel is meaningful, even if I sometimes want to punch people in the throat. Normally I love telling people what I do and I'm happy with myself. 

Low point, being a "late bloomer." Ok, not in the traditional sense but it's taken me a cool minute to do things that other people seem to do a lot sooner, like know what "tweak" is slang for and talk to boys. 

High point, learning to whistle. Probably also the moment when I made a joke in German and people laughed. I had a personality again.

Low point, when my dad got really sick and then stayed really sick. But it was also in a way a high point because I think our relationship for his last years kind of clarified my view of him so when he died it was ok. Had he died sooner I think I would have held a lot of resentment toward him for a long time. 

High point, buying a house and paying off my car. And painting a wall pink. And having everything exactly my way because, hey, it's my house. 

Low point, realizing how many hours have been spent watching movies and TV and reading people.com. And I still do it. I'm disgusting. 

High point I have rad friends. In fact, I was in Walmart today (this is going to be good) and I thought, maybe some people are ok living like this. I'm glad I don't have to. 

Low point, when I was eating Ramen again, because I'm alone and I don't want to cook. I don't think diabetes will look good on me. 

High point, figuring out that I can come up with high points a lot fast than low points. I think things are going pretty well. I feel really blessed. 

Life on the whole is a really good thing. M. Scott Peck, in The Road Less Traveled, says that once you accept that life is hard, it ceases to be hard. When you accept it on its terms, you don't feel so put out when it doesn't go your way. And you'll appreciate the good so much more because you'll see it as a blessing, not a right. I just don't want to die before I've seen all the really neat things the world has to offer, cuz, you know, YOLO.

FYI - I've been to: USA, Canada, Mexico, Guatemala, Germany, France, Austria, Finland, Sweden, Jamaica, Grand Cayman.

Music Download

Let's talk about what I'm listening to  and you should probably listen to as well. Some are relatively new discoveries and some I've love foreva. 

Fun. Everyone else is doing it. Their lyrics are complex and the music is actually musical, like someone took a class once at least, which is not something many can say, or don't act like they could say. I also really love running to their tunes. Some are just, excuse the pun, fun, but some are actually inspiring whilst you run. Like this one.

I love myself some Dolly. If you know me at all you will know of my worship. I like basically everything she touches but this song is great and kind of personifies the Dolly message.

Justin Timberlake. This represents everyone that is great about him. Falsetto, great beat, good lyrics, and dancing. 

I don't really get into Miley as a general rule, but this Bob Dylan cover I listen to on repeat.

And I'll always be listening to my Dashboard Confessional. 

I'll end this post with Mumford and Sons. Lyrics are tight and the musicality is off the chain. Plus I just about die of bliss whenever they harmonize. Carey Mulligan is a lucky lady. 

Too busy to blog

Well this is slightly out of character. I've been so fantastically occupied that I haven't blogged. (Ok, that's not the truth, but who said we are working with truth?) Although all of April was consumed with work and May was about catching up from April, I managed to have some rad things in my life as follows.

I visited Los Angeles for work and I was alone so I went to the Getty.  Pretty amazing. I was a little star struck in the  Impressionist room, cuz Imma major fan. 

In Los Angeles I found a Kate Spade store, which is not something  I've seen in the real. I wanted something designer and this was in my price range. Also, it completely expresses me.

And I went to the Symphony... quite a bit. 

This one featured John Williams' music. Pretty dope. 

And I hit up an opera. 

And a little more symphony.

Again for work I hit up San Diego. Why did no one explain how awesome Balboa Park is?

We started the Ladies' Dinner Club, where fine women and fine dining combine. 

And I took a hike.

And this kid came back from the mission. Photo bombs add a human quality.

And I cut bangs. So you can see a lot of great things happened. Thanks to Instagram for the documentation.

It's the Truth

We often consider ourselves more or less worthless and in some moods, even beyond help, and we approach the sacrament hesitantly and superficially. But worse still. We do not trust the good news. We do not trust the glad tidings. This is the Christ. This is He who pleads with us to come boldly to the throne of Grace. He knows our past and our future, and whatever our present soul sicknesses, He knows who we were in the premortal spheres and he does envision our future. In contrast to that, we live in the blur of amnesia about our past and we're subject to fits of doubt and disbelief about our real potential. But hear these words of Elder George Q. Cannon: "Now," he says, "this is the truth. We humble people, we who feel ourselves sometimes so worthless—so good for nothing. We are not so worthless as we think. There is not one of us but what God's love has been expended upon. There is not one of us that He has not cared for and caressed. There is not one of us that He has not desired to save and that he has not devised means to save. There is not one of us that He has not given his angels charge concerning. We may be insignificant and contemptible in our own eyes, and even in the eyes of others, but the truth remains that we are children of God and He has actually given his angels charge concerning us and they watch over us and have us in their keeping."

In His sacrament, the Lord gives us glimpses of ourselves. And in self-examination we are most blessed when we see ourselves as we are seen by Him and know ourselves as we are known by Him. In this world, we do not really grasp who we are until we know whose we are. And week after week the Master invites us to take upon us His name so that we will never forget whose we are. We are His.

Truman G Madsen, "The Savior, the Sacrament and Self-worth", Women's Conference 1999

Go ahead and jump!

In March I went on a tour of the South with my mom and sis. Beginning at the top left corner: Ocmulgee Indian Mounds, near Macon, GA; Lookout Point Battlefield, Chattanooga, TN; Wormsloe Ruins, Savannah GA; the same; Folly Island, SC; Tybee Island, GA; Ocmulgee Indian Mounds; Biltmore estate, Asheville, NC; Colonial cemetery, Savannah, GA; Folly Island, SC; Lookout Point Battlefield; Magnolia Plantation, Charleston SC; center is the Chattanooga Choo Choo in TN.

Fourth Nephi: the Great Divide

The Fourth Book of Nephi - a mere four pages of the compilation Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ - details nearly 300 years of ancient American history. It begins just after the visitation of the Savior of the world and shows a civilization so infused with the Christian gospel that for two hundred years "there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God." Unfortunately, half-way through the chapter the wonder and impact of Christ's visit to the Americas seems to be wearing off and by the end of the chapter the people are chaotic, divided, and wary of one another. Sadly, I felt more connected to the people of the latter-half - the first half seems to good to be true and the second half is really the world we live in - everyone's just doing what comes naturally. The first half is happy and thriving and safe, a place where people trust each other and work together. I want to live there - or at least be a citizen at heart of such a community, so I wrote out a simple list of descriptions of the two civilizations, in the hope that I can set my life and my character to fit in the people of the first half.

Characteristics of “No Happier People”

·         Participated in baptism and receiving the Holy Ghost

·         No contentions because of the love of God

·         No disputations

·         Dealt justly

·         All things in common

·         No poor, all free

·         Partook of the Heavenly Gift (Atonement of Christ)

·         Miracles of healing

·         Build cities (economic growth)

·         Strength

·         Multiplied (population growth)

·         Fair and delightsome

·         Married in the covenant

·         Fasted and prayed

·         Attended church

·         No envyings, strifes, tumults, whoredoms, lyings, murders, lasciviousness

·         No robbers, murderers, or –ites; complete unity

·         Prosperity

·          

Characteristics of Natural Life

·         Revolt

·         -ites; disunity

·         Pride and vanity

·         Costly apparel, pearls, fine things of the world

·         No more common goods

·         Divided into classes

·         Build up churches unto themselves to get gain and denied true church of Christ

·         Denied gospel

·         Allowed wickedness and administered sacred things to the unworthy

·         Iniquity

·         Adversary has hold of their hearts

·         Persecute the church of God

·         Refuse true prophets/leaders of God; seek to kill them

·         Hard hearts

·         Willfully rebel and teach their children to rebel and to hate others

·         Secret oaths and combinations of Gadianton

·         Focus on wealth; hoard gold and silver, traffic in all manner of traffic