The Role of Women

I was speaking with a good friend a few days ago. She is my age, the mother of two, and living far from home while her husband goes to school. I am my age (obviously), a graduate with a master's degree, and building a career. She lives her dream -- motherhood -- and I live the dream I just realized I had. My job is really great. I love it. I get to work with teen boys (which, I realize, is not a universal dream) and their families to help them all be happier, "well adjusted," interdependent, insert other therapuetic words here. Every night since I graduated I thank God for how well my life is going, ups and downs and all, because it really rocks.

My friend and I began discussing the recent General Conference from a few months back and about Sister Julie B. Beck, Relief Society president, and her talk entitled "Mother's Who Know." There was quite a hoop-lah (technical term) over this talk. Maybe some of the controversial statements were: "Mothers who know desire to bear children." "Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world." Or "They [mothers who know] do not abandon their plan by succumbing to social pressure and worldly models of parenting. These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most." I guess some folks weren't thrilled with the idea of women's greatest achievements happening at a home.

I told my friend that I had reread the talk and couldn't find anything to be all up in arms about. "And anyway," I told her, " if I didn't agree with something, I would just shut up and work through it because she isn't giving out her own agenda." But some folks (apparently on the Deseret Book website somewhere) thought it right to throw a fit. Then my friend asked me a very interesting question. Interesting because this friend knows me. She knows that as a kid I never said I wanted to be a mom, let alone a stay-at-home mom. She asked me, "If you were married right now with kids would you be working?" The answer came easily. "No."

Society, or Satan -- same difference, has fed women a message, propaganda that says this "Homemaking is below you. Homemaking is for stupid people. Homemaking is a waste of a college education. Homemaking is monotonous (this could turn out to be slightly valid)." Saying you are a homemaker is on the same level as "You throw like a girl." Well, are you implying that there is something wrong with throwing like a girl? Homemaker is now almost a degrading phrase. And that's the false message.

The more I work with families the more I am convinced of parents' role in their children's success. I am not a parent but I give a lot of advice and model discipline techniques. The kids I work with could be tomorrow's inmates and a lot of it is due to faulty parenting (by really well-meaning parents) and some genetic oddities. My education and career (regardless of area of expertise) are building my ability to be a great mom. Education only enhances homemaking ability. In fact, children in developing countries are far more like to reach adulthood and themselves be educated if their mother (nothing to do with dad) was literate.

I didn't always have "mom" at the top of the what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up list, but it's there now. I know the term homemaking has been tampered with and I can see it for what it really is. My right. My calling. My purpose.