Debunking a Myth

It has come to my attention that, like Sarah Palin, I have been subject to a number of rumors, spread via various vicious mediums, on a number of life and death topics. In this most accurate post I shall dispel these horrific and unfortunant rumors. 
1. I do not participate in mixed martial arts. Although I have catlike reflexes and amazing mental stamina, I cannot effectively hold a victim's cranium between my thighs while inflicting other forms of torture with my fingers and ankles on his or her weak body. Also, it is unladylike.
2. I have never been a foot model. Some may say that my foot has the perfect toe formation and hue for peddling such wares as very small CTR rings and special pedicure lotions of berry and citric varieties. However, my high arch put an end to an otherwise lucrative and successful career.
3. I can do algebra. Reports have been circulated by vindictive, dishonorable muckrakers that I cannot compute algebraic equations. I admit that I have said myself that I cannot come to know the true character of the illusive "x" nor his compadres, aptly named "y" or even "z." Alas, it has been revealed to me that I can, in fact, tell you that a train leaving Baltimore at 8 pm heading for Pittsburgh will never cross paths with the 6 pm commuter out of Mesa heading for Phoenix - no matter how fast or slow they go. It's mathematically impossible.
4. I have never claimed to be a Bush. I was never the Bush twins' triplet. I don't believe in Bushes. I mean, I believe they exist. I just don't believe they should.
5. I don't care, in fact, for long walks on the beach. If a person... take me for instance... if I were to, say, want to spend a lot of time with someone with whom I am, say, romantically interested - even involved -- I would get a beach cruiser and ride really fast. Riding really fast makes everyone happy. He'll equate me with happiness. 
6. My daughter is not pregnant. I don't even have a daughter. Or a son. I have no children. And I've never even tried moose stew. I think that sounds gross.
I want you all to understand and know, really know, that what I have written here is the absolute truth. So when naysayers and doubters tell you otherwise, say to them, "No, that's not how it is, man."


Soundtrack of my Life

Today was cooler than it has been and I loved it. Fall is my favorite season. I love the changing colors. Today I began listening to my fall soundtrack. The following is a list of what I listen to in various seasons. When I listen to something out-of-season I don't get the same pleasure out of it.
Teen stuff like Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Natasha Bedingfield, Jason Mraz. It has to be peppy, fast tempo, and get me going.
Oldies like Beach Boys, Abba, and 80s music.
Disney music.
Sissel. She is just perfect. Put her on your Ipod and go for a walk. You will not regret.
Christmas Winter 
Rich music (meaning tonality) like Josh Groban, Il Divo, Charlotte Church, and more Sissel.
Christmas music, obviously, from the Messiah to Alvin and Chipmunks.
Ugly Winter and Spring
I haven't found anything that really screams "It's still snowing" and "The weather is bipolar; you can tell because the meds are making the clouds puffy." Suggestions
Saturday night driving in the car alone or with someone adventurous who you trust
Bubble Baths
John Mayer
Big band and jazz
Rainy Days
Josh Groban
Michael Buble

What music do you listen to and at which times?