The Lost Art of Creating Intimacy

I get creeped out by Facebook and MySpace. It just isn't right. It it weird to say in my first blog ever that I think these services disconnect people? It is somewhat paradoxical; peoples speaking every day, sending little messages back and forth, posting photographs, being witty -- that seems very connected. But it's not the sort of forum for real conversation, is it? How deep do you really want to go when you are writing on someone's "wall?"

It's a lot like email. Email is great, but something about a real letter is ever greater. Your name written by hand -- a familiar brand of penmanship -- on the cover. A note for you, and only you, from someone who wants to tell you something. Anything.But it is personal. It is a sign that people still know you are there; that a few days ago, they thought of you. Texts, IMs, and the like are quite fine for their purposes, but it isn't really the same as drinking tea (or water, or juice, or whatever beverage type you want to insert here) in a dear friend's front room. Face to face communication allows for intimacy, disclosure, empathy, and really shows love. A visit is worth far more than a quick line or two somewhere out in cyber space.

Have you watched people's faces as they read text messages? If my friends gave me the same blank stare -- the one devoid of emotion -- when I spoke to the, shared with them, I should think they were less the indifferent, that they hadn't comprehended my message at all. I want to be noticed and reacted to, not simply communicated.

And so we become disconnected as we engaged in an act that assures connection.

One friend explained that Facebook allowed her to get caught up with a lot of high school acquaintances, people with whom she had not spoken in years. Good friends, realtionships with meaning, are kept up. Do we need to reconnect with those who had a little meaning for us years ago? I would rather have four really close friends (the visiting type) that hundreds of acquaintances posting witty comment after witty comment and really not getting any closer to my heart.

So I chose to blog. It's somehow different. It's not an attempt to keep tabs on anyone, but instead I see it as a chance for self-expression. Naturally I hope that other's will read it. But not because I never talk to them and they want to tune in on my life (conveniently skipping over the speaking-to-my-face step) as if I were LiLo, Paris, or some other fabulously pathetic cultural phenom from the magazines. I hope that there will be something worth seeing here. That it will somehow create a deeper intimacy with those who are already well acquainted with me and give us forum to discuss thoughts when we cannot visit.

Though I'd still love a visit!