Centered

My life is really constant chaos. I kind of struggle when people ask me how my day was or if I enjoy my job. Well, I'm a therapist. I'm not dealing with pleasurable things all day. In fact, my job is probably really depressing (but I really do like it). Someone once asked me if I changed any lives that day. I thought to myself, "Well, I put one kid on suicide watch so I guess I changed his life." 

I get to work everyday with an agenda and then I do something other than what I planned because someone's in crisis or I have a bad session or I didn't get enough sleep so I'm crabby. Well, maybe just right now. My caseload is going through some hard times (as in worse than normal). I'm new at this but my supervisor says that it's just how things are: phases. 

I think that helping others clear away their psychological "stuff" really begins with having my "stuff" in order. So, in order to really be effective as a therapist I need to be doing ok myself. For me this means applying the principle of "centering."

Centering means coming back to your real essence. It means remembering who YOU really are. I'm me and I like to decorate and read. I like theatre and classical music (and other stuff too!). I'm more than someone's therapist. It means focusing on me for a little while. 

There are a few ways I become centered. I might bake something.

Another way is to do things I enjoy. Watch a movie, blog, be with friends.

Cleaning is always good. And organizing.

Tonight, I blew off Family Home Evening in the hopes of centering myself. I came home and got centered. Sometimes, FHE is a centering activity but not tonight.

I made myself a real dinner, listened to calming music, and read a book about bipolar disorder (which normally would not be centering but this book is a pleasure read and coincidentally helpful to my job). Then I did a closet organizing project involving baskets. And put together a night table I got from Ikea this weekend. I chatted with a friend on the phone. I found a movie clip for tomorrow's group therapy. And took a shower. I'm going to bed at a decent hour. And I feel centered. 

The thing is, I also feel closer to God. I mean, I blew off a "religious" activity and puttered around the house. It doesn't seem logical that I would actually feel more spiritual. Yet I feel closer to myself and closer to Him. I think that is what centering really is; it's calming all the unimportant daily issues and remembering that I am really a child of the Divine whose life has meaning, purpose, and direction. When we feel close to God we can hear His gentle voice, telling us how we can better live our lives and strengthening us to overcome this world's challenges.