Contentment

So I was on Pinterest today. This is usual for me and a good form of entertainment. I was led to a blog with loads of great ideas and it got me thinking about all the cool stuff I could do. No - all the cool stuff I now needed to do. And I started feeling anxious and, oddly, less than.  Sites like this are supposed to be helpful - give you ideas to simplify, to solve problems in new ways, to "do it yourself." Instead I discovered the things I lack which thing had never occurred to me before. Like I can't be happy yet because I haven't cut out sugar and my house doesn't have crown molding.
It's a lot like porn. Stay with me now. I heard sometime somewhere (good reference) that porn damages sex lives, even when couples view together. Why is this thing? It is because the movie or picture is idealized and the couples are never able to live up to it. They are continually discontent with themselves because they are convinced that they should be able to do what no human has ever done, and be what not human has ever been.
For someone as blessed as I am, discontentment is absurd. I'm crazy. No matter what I have, it's not enough, even if someone else points the blessing out. I have to someone reach and even higher standard. I'm Paulie Bleeker.

Juno: It's like, you're the coolest person I know and you don't even try.

Bleeker: I try really hard actually. 

The teens in my life are always on about how they "can be their own man" and they "aren't influenced by anything" and I think, yeah right, man, tell me you don't need those Jordans. Ahh, kids. But I am an adult yet I'm just as easily beguiled. My only virtue is that I'm more aware that I'm totally falling for some facade.  I'm Alice in the Rabbit Hole. I see it's a problem but I just keep sinking.
End the madness. Stop exposing yourself. It just creates a sense of "I lack" and you don't. Here's a better idea. I'll solve my own problems and create my own art, thank you very much. I'll fill a need when I see it not when you point it out to me. And I'll come out myself and content.

"For I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me."

Alma 29:3

I think I'll go write about all the things I already have and how happy I am about it.

For more on contentment, check this out.