Things I've Learned from my Clients

I have been a therapist for six years. It's not a lot of time relative to the life span but it's passed the 10,000 hour mark so I probably don't suck completely and actually I fancy that I'm rather good. Reflecting on the lives of others for thousands of hours has given me the opportunity to process and reflect on my own "stuff," which is the polite word for the technical word most often used which is a swear. I've helped a lot of people and I've taught a lot of lessons, but I've also inadvertently and gratefully gleaned a few myself. I've listed some of them below.

I know the history of the Ramones. And I rather like them. Their philosophy is to just do it and don't focus on if you're good at it or not.

Time heals a lot. And sometimes kids are just dumb and they right themselves. Just keep them alive long enough to have a fully developed brain.

You can't save everyone and, at some point, people are responsible for themselves. In a similar vein, you are not their last hope.

Don't underestimate the effect of your foul mood. Sometimes people can benefit from a little of their own medicine. But don't cry.

Being told you aren't crazy goes a long way. Just don't let it go so far that you think you are perfect.

Boys are people too. And they have feelings - usually sadness manifested as anger- even if they don't know it. And moms make up stories if you don't tell them what you are doing (always involving you dying), so just tell your mom what's going on.

Thank you notes make a difference. And they are so deserved.

Pain is a powerful teacher so don't rob people of that. In fact, sometime you have to "bring up rock bottom" so that they never really experience rock bottom. You do no one any favors with rescuing.

Adults can be real jerks and boss kids around and believe they are right just because the adult is the authority. And that's wrong and unfair.

Freaking out is really only effective in case of fire.

The real expert on a person is that person. People have a great ability to know what would help them.

Drugs are amazing and the worst thing ever.

Thoughts control, like, everything. Change your sucky thoughts and you are good to go.

Schools should somehow educate people about how to effectively rebel because there are a lot of bozos out there rebelling - eg, gangs, and people who do crappy graffiti, and kids who skip school. I guess if you skip school maybe you don't get the effective rebellion lesson.

We all tend to think we're more of a lost cause that we really are. And we also tend to believe that because we can't think of a solution, that there is no solution. There is always a solution.

Everyone's values are a little different. So you just have to do what works for you and your family.

You can marry anything in international waters, I'm told.